The Eggsact Location of the Soul
Speggtacular speggtacular - part 3
In a graduate class, Modern English Grammar, I undertook a study of a 500-word passage from Richard Selzer’s essay “The Exact Location of the Soul,” from the collection Mortal Lessons. The passage I looked at was about 527 words long. The professor warned us - “Keep it to 500 words, even if it ends in the middle of a sentence.” Not one to listen to professors or heed deadlines, there was a part of me that wanted the passage to be fulfillingly complete, to round up instead of down, to provide a full paragraph, not a partial.
That extra 27 words cost me 3 weeks of additional time, for which I had to request an extension. So much for meeting deadlines.
(Interesting side note: much later, when I worked a temp job at Yale’s Sterling Memorial Library, one of many haunted locations at Yale, my boss recalled frequently seeing Richard Selzer writing in his cubicle. A nice man, he said, very gracious and helpful to those in the community. Richard Selzer was a medical doctor/writer who wanted to be a writer. He was both, and a stellar human being as well.)
The Eggs Have It
The verdict is in. I have tested three methods for hard-boiling (cooking) eggs. You’ll find explanations of both below. Be sure to review earlier posts about this experiment for the full story.
The results of this experiment were delayed due to a faulty Instant Pot. I successfully Instant-Potted (now a verb!) eggs once or twice (they came out brown) before then failing three or four times due to the pressure cooker not achieving pressure. A thorough cleaning and cooling yielded nothing.
A-ha! We have a warranty and insurance plan for this small kitchen appliance, but the manufacturer’s warranty was in force first, so I was forced (see what I did there?) to contact the manufacturer first. No small feat in these days when contacting anyone is practically instantaneous. There was no response to an email, despite receiving an immediate reply that my email was received. The 24/7 online chat system didn’t work - no one ever responding and I was #1 in the queue for … days! No wonder Instant Pot went bankrupt during the pandemic. I finally was able to reach someone by phone, who wanted a complete retest of the machine, along with a 15-second video of the pressure cooker steam releasing to show the machine wasn’t working.
Don’t believe me? Fine, I’ll show you! Of course, the machine worked when I tried it again. So back to the drawing board and on with the show.
All of this took about a month (precious time spent away from writing my memoir - the sacrifices I make for culinary arts and sciences).
I hope y’all appreciate it.
The Three Egg Boiling/Cooking Methods
The three methods:
Boiling in water in a pot on a stove
Cooking in an air fryer
Pressure cooking in an Instant Pot
The criteria: ease, doneness, peel-ability, clean-up, deliciosity
You can skip to the end if you’d like my verdict, but why not read along? You might find some eggselent tips along the way.
Air fryer - substandard
There is absolutely nothing wrong with air frying eggs to achieve hard-boiled state. Cook at 250 for 13-17 minutes. Immediately ice bath for a while 5 minutes to an hour. The science on this method was less than the others. I was hungry.
Eggs cooked in an air fryer were not as easy to peel as with the other methods. The eggs were delicious, otherwise indistinguishable from water-boiled eggs. (See Jan 19, “Friday Extravaganza”).
Ease: Easiest
Doneness: Perfect
Peel-ability: Poor
Clean up: Easiest (3 items: air fryer tray, tongs, bowl for ice bath)
Deliciosity: All good
Water-Boiled Eggs - Standard
Using the “boil water to roiling first and then drop in eggs” is the best hard-boiled egg water-boiled method.
The only drawback for me is that I invariably break an egg as I put them into the boiling water, even carefully with a slotted spoon. And then there are chunks of egg whites rolling around in the roiling water along with the cooking eggs. It’s kind of gross. There is also the danger of splashing yourself with hot water.
Using a timer (phone or egg timer-ha), you have the most control over the doneness of the egg. Like jammy eggs? Cook for less time. Like harder hard-boiled eggs? Cook for more time. Ten or 11 minutes is the standard for a perfect hard-boiled egg, for eating whole, slicing for salads, using to make deviled eggs.
For easy-to-peel hard-boiled eggs cooked with the water method, use older eggs bought from the grocery store. Save the fresh eggs you bought from a farm stand for frying and scrambling.
There are charts online that show you the outcome of eggs cooked at varying times.
Once the timer goes off, use a slotted spoon to transfer the eggs to an ice bath to stop the cooking process. You only need to ice bath eggs for about 5 minutes for them to set.
Ease: Easy
Doneness: The best control over doneness. I do like a jammy egg!
Peel-ability: Eggselent
Clean up: Easy (4 items: stock pot and lid, slotted spoon, bowl for ice bath)
Deliciosity: All good
My Fav: Instant Pot Pressure-Cooked Eggs
I call this my favorite method because there’s nothing wrong with water-boiled eggs. It’s virtually a tie, but I had to choose a winner. There’s an ease to using the pressure cooker that I like. No worrying about splashing hot water. It’s a new-fangled machine, and I like new-fangled machines.
After cooking eggs that came out brown, using the 5-5-5 method (5 minute cook, 5 minute wait, 5 minute ice bath), I adjusted the times. I use the 2-3-5 method.
It takes the pressure cooker 12 to 17 minutes to reach pressure and start the timer. That’s cooking time, folks. But then you lose control of the doneness factor. I have been unable to make jammy eggs with the pressure cooker because I’m captive to the time it takes for the pressure-cooker to kick on. In that time, the egg cooks.
The yolks in a pressure-cooked egg are light and fluffy, more so than a water-boiled egg. They are absolute perfection.
Set the instant pot to pressure cook. Set the timer to 2 minutes. Use an egg rack. I have two stackable egg racks that allow me to cook 14 eggs at a time. Watch the timer. When the Instant Pot goes into warming mode, time for an additional 3 minutes. Once it reaches 3 minutes, release the remaining pressure and turn off the unit. It takes a minutes or two for the pressure to completely release (that’s more cooking time folks). Use tongs to transfer the eggs to an ice bath for 5 minutes.
PEELED or IN THE SHELL
I peel the eggs right away and put them in an air tight container. They peel easiest of all the methods. I’ve also kept half the eggs in their shells. They’re easier to transport in sack lunches that way.
I couldn’t tell you how long they last in the refrigerator (do refrigerate them). They go so fast. Between two of us, 14 hard-boiled eggs lasts 3 days, at most.
To try to achieve jammy eggs in the Instant Pot, you could try 1-1-1 methods (1 minute cook, 1 minute wait, 1 minute ice bath). You’d still not control the amount of time it takes the Instant Pot to reach pressure nor the amount of time it takes the steam to vent when cooking is done. (If I try that method, I’ll let you know, but this experimenttaion is largely done, unless I get a multi-year grant from the NIH or NSF or EPA of Homeland Security or some gov’t agency for millions of dollars! - Or maybe just 1 paying subscriber - you have to start somewhere.)
Ease: Easy
Doneness: Least control over doneness, but 2-3-5 method yields perfect eggs
Peel-ability: Easiest!
Clean up: Most items, but still easy (6 items: instant pot receptacle, instant pot lid, instant pot rubber lid seal, tongs, two egg stacker holders, bowl for ice bath)
Deliciosity: All good
Next Steps in Egg Eggsperimentation
What happens when you put an egg in its shell into the microwave?
I don’t like to have all the fun. If you try this, let me know what happens.
But I’d probably just look it up on the internet. That’s what the internet is for - cat videos and what happens when you put things in a microwave.
I am a certified book editor and writing coach, with a 30 year history of teaching writing in college. If you’re in the market for an experienced editor, contact me at The Writing Prof Editorial Services.
I have written a memoir and am currently revising and will soon resume querying to seek traditional publication.
I write about:
writing, literature, and the writing life
writing process
memoir craft
mental illness - major depressive disorder, suicide, borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder
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alternative lifestyles - polyamory and kink
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Until next time, I’ll . . ..
Just keep writing!
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Hi Lee, are you also writing short stories? Pat
Do you want to give me your e-mail? I also write about mental illness.